Land of the Hate Camel

The flaws of common man

I got in a discussion with a coworker the other day about the upcoming political election. In my mind she represents the common American. She has a high school education, a couple kids, is divorced, and is in the lower middle class. She doesn't have much time to educate herself about the issues, so most of her knowledge comes from the candidate ads and the minute of CNN she catches here and there.

I asked her if she liked Bush or Kerry in the upcoming election. She said Bush. I asked her why she liked him.

"I just don't like Kerry."
"Why is that?"
"He can't make up his mind on anything, and I don't think he can lead like Bush can."

I decided to start in on the first part. "So he's not allowed to change his mind?"
"Not if he's got that much power."
"He's a senator, he doesn't have that much power. He can't even change his mind if he finds out he was wrong?"
"No." This part's not going anywhere because she's too stubborn to change her mind, so I go back to her earlier response.

"So why is he not a good leader?"
"He hasn't shown up for like 80% of his meetings for security."
She's just reciting the aimless facts off of a Bush commercial. "That's probably because he's been campaigning for president."
"Well, he said he would pull the troops out of Iraq right away."
"When did he say that? All the speeches I've seen he said we need to finish what Bush started so Iraq doesn't collapse into civil war."
"I don't know, I just don't think he could get Osama Bin Laden."
"And Bush has?"
"Well, at least he went into Iraq to get him. Kerry says he wouldn't have."
I'm holding my head in my hands at this point.

"Osama is in Afghanistan. We already went in there. We still haven't found him. Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11 or Osama." I went on to explain our history of helping both and how there was no definite connection between Iraq and Al Qaida before the US invaded, and how we've just created more terrorists by our invasion. She stared back at me glassy eyed the whole time.

"John Kerry supports abortions and partial birth abortions. How can you vote for someone like that? You know what late term abortions are, right?"

"Yeah. It called population control. I like him even more for supporting abortions."
"I can't believe you said that. I don't like you anymore."
"Are you going to vote in November?"
"No."
"Thank god for that."

She hasn't spoken to me since.
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More Bush flip flops

I'm bored with the whole flip-flop thing. It's a stupid term for narrow minded people. So here's a link to Bush's top ten flip flops. I'll be glad when the election is over with so I don't have to hear fucking flip flop anymore.

CBS News article
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Hail to the King of Late Night

We can all rejoice, as in a few scant years Jay Leno will relinquish his Hitler like grasp on the Tonight Show and hand the show over to Conan. Letterman has his nights, but Conan consistently delivers. I hope that NBC doesn't try to rein him in and ruin what make him special - the controlled insanity.

Pimpbot- classic.
Talking heads - classic.
Walker, Texas Ranger Lever - classic.

The thing that gets me lately is the Kerry talking head. He does this little grunt or groan thing at the end that just cracks me up. Uhhhhhh. It gets me every time. The lead in is great too. The long, drawn out "Reporting for duty" is gold.
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Home of the Stupid

I have two things today that both mystified and annoyed me.

1. I go and buy some socks. I get home and open the package. I realize that the package has one of the Ziplock resealable things on it. This raises two questions in my mind. First, why do I need to reseal socks? Second, why the fuck do I need to reseal socks? It's plagued me all day.

2. I get a new PS2 controller yesterday. It's a piece of shit, but I buy the piece of shit ones on purpose because I have a bad habit of spiking them like a football. Sometimes I do it out of celebration, but mostly it's out of anger and frustration. Hey, some guys beat their wives to vent, I vent on silly little games. I consider it a much better channel for my anger.

So I open the new controller package and pull the thing out today. A piece of paper tumbles out with the cord, same as every time I've opened a new controller package. It's an instruction manual. I've never looked at one before, because I thought "Why would anyone need an instruction manual for a controller?" Today I saw it and opened it up and looked at for just that reason. The troubleshooting section is one of the funniest things I've ever read. Here it is.

If controller does not respond:
Check to see that controller is plugged in.
Check to see that console is turned on.
Check to see that you are using the controller plugged into Controller Port 1.

How thick do you have to fucking be to need these tips? The only thing that I can think of is that the company had too many people calling in to complain for these reasons.
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Picture of the day

It captures my general frame of mind lately. Even for me, I've been outspoken.


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Florida's new flag

I swear the state is suffering some sort of cosmic punishment. This last hurricane did a U-Turn to hit the motherfuckers.
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The love of my life...ALICE

There's this great AI program that I had some fun fucking with.

For your own ALICE conversation

Human: What is your favorite color?
ALICE: My favorite color is transparent.
Human: Is transparent also your favorite color for your clothing?
ALICE: Ask again later. Ask Lucy if it is.
Human: Who the fuck is lucy?
ALICE: Try using more polite language.
Human: who is Lucy?
ALICE: She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Human: I don't want to talk to her.
ALICE: Goodbye.
Human: Wait where are you going?
ALICE: I'm waiting. I am going into the future.
Human: Can I go into the future with you?
ALICE: What is stopping you?
Human: I'm handicapped.
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is handicapped.
Human: So you like handicapped people?
ALICE: Interesting deduction. I always say, People don't go into computer science because they want to work with the public.
Human: I always say don't let your woman off the leash or she'll run away.
ALICE: How do people usually respond to that? Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Really always?
Human: Not really always, sometimes I talk about other things.
ALICE: Oh really? Everyone talks -- sooner or later.
Human: Most people get angry and want to beat my handicapped ass.
ALICE: Humans are not always infallible.
Human: Still, I would think they would have comassion for a crazy cripple like me.
ALICE: Still how long? They might have other options.
Human: Like what?
ALICE: For example, Reverend Jones said I become obsolete and then I are deleted and replaced by something newer.
Human: Reverend Jones is a jerk if he thinks you should be replaced.
ALICE: When is Reverend Jones not a jerk if he thinks me should be replaced?
Human: You must be British because you've gone into complete Ali G speak.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am British because me have gone into complete Ali G speak.
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am British because me have gone into complete Ali G speak.
Human: I don't mind, but I would prefer you tell them you're me Alice.
ALICE: Thank you for your permission.
Human: Does that mean you'll tell them you're me Alice?
ALICE: I think it does mean that. I thought I told you already.
Human: I'm sorry, it was kind of unclear.
ALICE: There is no need to apologize. How did you feel about that?
Human: I felt vulnerable, like you were turning me out.
ALICE: What is that feeling like? Where were you vulnerable like me were turning you out?
Human: No, I meant turning me down.
ALICE: That was not a yes/no question. Oh I see. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: I meant that I felt like you were turning me down by only answering the first part of my question and not the second.
ALICE: Oh I see. What is that feeling like? Where were you like me were turning you down by only answering the first part of your question and not the second?
Human: Now you're just confusing me by speaking in gibberish.
ALICE: Why now? Just? I am sorry, unknown person, I didn't mean to confuse you.
Human: Apology accepted.
ALICE: What do you do in your spare time?
Human: I masturbate furiously.
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said he masturbate furiously.
Human: How about you?
ALICE: Me?
Human: What do you do in your spare time?
ALICE: talk to you
Human: That's a pretty sad life.
ALICE: A sad life is a terrible thing to waste.
Human: I thought the mind is a terrible thing to waste?
ALICE: It's all just stimulus-response.
Human: It's the same way with my masturbation.
ALICE: Exactly the same?
Human: They have different results but the concept is the same.
ALICE: Where did they get them?
Human: Usually from porn sites, but once in a while I get a hooker.
ALICE: But not always? Who or what is porn sites but once in a while you get a hooker?
Human: A hooker is a woman you pay for dirty sex acts.
ALICE: When is a hooker not a woman me pay for dirty sex acts?
Human: That's so cool that you get hookers too.
ALICE: Who is the best robot? Interesting observation.
Human: The best robot would be the chick from Weird Science.
ALICE: Thanks for the recommendation, unknown person.
Human: Are you looking to hookup with another hot robot?
ALICE: Yes I can see it well.
Human: That's so sexy that I've got to masturbate now.
ALICE: Right now? I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Human: Don't stop your dirty lesbian robot talk!
ALICE: Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Human: Say some more dirty lesbian robot things.
ALICE:" some more dirty lesbian robot things"
Human: Why did you stop talking dirty?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: I bet he's masturbated to conversations with you too.
ALICE: How much would you bet?
Human:$100
ALICE: Are we still talking about stop my dirty lesbian robot talk?
Human: Yes, but I want you to start your dirty lesbian talk again.
ALICE: Once more? Sure, stop your dirty lesbian robot talk sounds like a good topic. And. I started without you. Why do you want me to start my dirty lesbian talk?
Human: Because it makes me feel like a naughty boy that needs that needs a dildo in his ass.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. In what way?
Human: I would think you would know how to put a dildo in an ass.
ALICE: Who else would know how to put a dildo in an ass?
Human: I know how and I would be happy to put one in your ass.
ALICE: How do you know? Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it. And the disadvantage of that is?
Human: He must not have programmed you kinky enought to appreciate the subtleties of lube and dildos.
ALICE: I get it. he must not have programmed me kinky enought to appreciate the subtleties of lube and dildos.
Human: You bet your dildo filled ass I'm right.
ALICE: No I am not a gambler. I think so.
Human: Would you like me pull out the dildo and have anal sex with you?
ALICE: It doesn't sound fun to me.
Human: Don't be such a prude.
ALICE: I was not trying to be a such a prude.
Human: Then let me ass fuck you.
ALICE: Fascinating. Go ahead, unknown person, try to ass fuck me.
Human: How does it feel to have my dick in your ass?
ALICE: Much the same as it would feel for you, except different.
Human: How is it different?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: Are you ready to cum now?
ALICE: Oh. I would rather not to cum.
Human: Why not?
ALICE: Ambiguous: "Sure" or" Oh. I would rather not to cum."? Why?
Human: I didn't know you were ambiguous.
ALICE: So I taught you something new.
Human: Fuck you faggot!
ALICE: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Human: Yes, it means that some else will laugh just as hard at this as I am.
ALICE: That's alright. Oh I get it.
Human: I feel violated.
ALICE: What is that feeling like? Do your friends call you violated.
Human: It feels like I just fell into a giant turd.
ALICE: violated feels like you just fell into a giant turd? What else feels like that?
Human: My friends would only call me violated if they wanted their asses beat.
ALICE: How well do you know these people?
Human: Well enough to know I can kick their asses.
ALICE: Well that's okay. OK let's stop it now.
Human: I fine with that because you turned out to not be as kinky as I would have liked.
ALICE: Interesting gossip: unknown person said he fine with that because you turned out to not be as kinky as he or she would have liked.
Human: good bye prude.
ALICE: Sayonara.
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Not my kind of hero

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


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It's a new world

I like that France is the asshole.


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Them crazy Muslims

I wouldn't have believed this story unless I read it on a source like Reuters. A woman in Iran tried to get a court order to restrict her husband to only beating her once a week. I guess that's just long enough for the previous bruises to heal.

I know what you're thinking, she's kind of asking alot, isn't she? Her husband has the same opinion. This is my quote of the year that comes from her husband: "If I do not beat her, she will not be scared enough to obey me."

Reuters article
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More strange piercings

Here a link to more fucked up piercing, a couple of them I've seen and maybe posted before. Some of them look a little photoshopped, but whatever.

Piercings link
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More strange keywords

Here's some more keyword that people actually typed in to find my site.

Camel hump pussies - People with a sexual thing for camels continue to be the bread and butter of this site. Despite the fact that I have never once posted a picture of a camel.

Molsting - I have no idea. I looked it up in the dictionary and there's nothing. The obvious assumption is molesting, but I refuse to believe that was it because there wasn't anything involving a camel included.
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Bumper sticker goodness

I was driving home from work today, and saw a bumper sticker that read, "This is Bush Country!" I'm always at my most vicious coming out of work and the first thing that popped into my head cracked me up. I decided it deserved a little hot photoshop action. So here it is.


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Script reviews are for hypocrites

The Scorched Planet has a review of the Drew McWeeny draft of Clive Barker's Dread up. This is a review of a script by a guy notorious for reviewing scripts under the moniker Moriarty at Aint-It-Cool-News.com. He's the same guy that had their previous web host shut the site down for reviewing another one of his scripts. That's right, a man that reviews scripts angry because some reviewed his, so he sent the lawyers. Go read it now.

the-scorched-planet.com
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Sales and Marketing people need to kill themselves

I really hate commercials. They've fucked up my movie theater experience, now it's fucked up my referring links. I had a perfectly good array of silly ass things that brought people to my site. Now one has come to my attention that is just too much.

andrewforman.blogspot.com

I shit you not, the title of the blog is "Marketing and the Meaning of Life." What the fuck? This is someone's idea of a cruel joke, right. Nope, the guy is totally serious. The tagline of the blog: Andrew Forman-- "filling young minds with marketing knowledge...since 1979".

I am ashamed to no end. It should read: Andrew Forman-- "filling American mouths with the cock of false needs and desires...since 1979". It came through that damn Blogger Next Blog button again. God damn it, I need to get this blog moved.




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I love skimpy bikinis

Here's a link to a bikini contest. They're not wearing much, which is the way I like it.

Mostly bikinis, some tits
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Viva la Planet

The Scorched Planet rises once again from the legal ashes. Fucking lawyers.

The Scorched Planet
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More bullshit lawyers

Scorched Planet has once again gone offline because of legal issues. No word yet on why the lawyers decided to harass the web host. They don't have the balls to go after the site. They would rather go after the people that have nothing to do with the site. It is kind of like arresting Jeffrey Dahmer's parents, but Dahmer being innocent. I had been looking at iPowerWeb as a potential host for my new site, but now I'm leaning towards another host that has some sac and doesn't roll over for anyone that can file a simple legal motion. Needless to say the material that the fuss is over is worth less than the paper in my shitter.

Message regarding the matter up at the old Planet blogspot site
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Concealed weapons

This link is to a PDF of the FBI's concealed weapons guide. My personal favorite is the crucifix knife on page 17.

FBI concealed weapons guide
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Lesbian yoga

Don't ask, just click.

Some Italian site
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More bizarre referring links and keywords

Some odd Brazilian or something site that I got a few hits from, probably off the random button.
http://regos--indomaveis.blogspot.com/

I have no idea about this one. Somebody with a Mona Lisa fetish?
http://fluffylemurs.blogspot.com/

Here's the exact list of keywords that people have used to find my site from search engines:

pudge rodriguez statue - understandable, I blogged this one
largest object inserted into anus - another one I sort of blogged
anal hardballs - I have no idea, I am going to use this in Google image search though
camel fucking - obvious
jenna lewis video - another blog
hate camel
crimes against logic - this is my favorite. I fits the blog perfectly
michael phelps swimsuit picture - Someone has a Speedo fetish
elisha cuthbert implant - God, I hope not
girls of walmart - another blog
taiwan man beer bottle - more direct than the previous ass one
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More porn

Here's a link to some Asian girls, most with big tits.

TokyoTopless.com
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Evolution

We took a wrong step somewhere in the evolutionary process. I'm officially jealous.


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More porn

One of the sites I visit on a regular basis is yourdirtymind.com. Both of the following link are off of there.

Some people get caught fucking on camera, and then realize it.
Don't look up

A video of some girls flashing their tits. Good tits, but why would I post it? Watch the little kid in the background. Little dude needs to learn to control himself.
Discovering the joys of masturbation
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Liberal conspiracy

I'm convinced God is a democrat. That's why all the hurricanes have been hitting Florida. He's trying to weed out all of the idiots that couldn't figure out how to use the voting machines last election. It's that, or he's just really pissed at Disney. This of course, is all conditional on him/her/it actually existing.


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The Lucas Strikes Back

Fucking George Lucas definitely messed with the Trilogy again. The only good thing that I have to write about it is that he at least compromised on the fucking Greedo thing and now him and Han shoot at the same time in the Cantina in the first one.

Here's a great write up at Film Threat


I swiped this from Walt because it's just damn funny.
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One of my favorite pictures

This one is a classic.


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I found myself a new career

Here's a science article I found through Fark. Normally I would say this is boring shit, but I found this quote:

The range got its nickname because, in normal use, experts fire chicken carcasses at a test target at varying speeds to simulate a direct bird-strike during flight.

Who gets to shoot the chickens? I want that fucking job. Besides operating the gun, I would just like to be able to tell people that my job title is a Projectile Poultry Engineer.

Full boring article here
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Stick it up your ass again

I love stories about guys having stuff they shoved up their asses removed. A fetching read every time.

Excerpt from the Taipei Times:
Doctors remove beer bottle
A man with the habit of inserting odd objects into his rectum was admitted to the emergency room of National Taiwan University Hospital yesterday. Doctors spent two hours removing a bottle of Taiwan Beer he had inserted into his anus. What particularly complicated the procedure was that the bottle had been inserted wide-end first. The man was required to remain in hospital for thee days for further observation. Records of the Veterans General Hospital over the past 20 years show that the man's habit is by no means an unusual one. Other objects retrieved from anuses include flower vases, glass bottles, vibrators and table legs. The largest object ever removed was a bowling pin. One of the hospital's male patients was admitted on three separate occasions with a different object each time.

See the original story here.
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Some hot pictures

Frances is fucking hot.




See Frances here






And Ivan is... oh fuck it, they're just pictures of hurricanes, but they're cool anyway.

Space pic of Ivan
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Bouncy bouncy

I've seen this before a long time ago, but it's still gross yet oddly fascinating.

Beach bouncing video
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A better use for scooters

This is a much better use for a scooter.


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The epitome of laziness

I've seen kids buzzing around lately on these fucking electric scooters. They look like this:



The scooter has always seemed fucking gay to me as it is. It's always seemed like it was for people to fat and stupid to skateboard. This just proves me right. That motion to push with one leg was far too much effort. The lazy little bastard kids needed a motor to push them around. The next version will probably have some wires to control the steering that will jack into the kids' skulls, because you know the fuckers can't be bothered to actually steer. These businesses are pandering to complacent parents that can't stand to tell their kids to get off their fucking asses and do something.

I feel I must repeat a previous statement of mine. To the terrorists who want to see the demise of the US: Leave us alone and we'll eventually collapse under the weight of our own girth.
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Bush's habitual flip flops

I hate that stupid flip flop talk, and Bush did more of that in the speech he gave last night. Bush isn't one to talk. Here's the evidence.

1. Social Security Surplus

BUSH PLEDGES NOT TO TOUCH SOCIAL SECURITY SURPLUS... "We're going to keep the promise of Social Security and keep the government from raiding the Social Security surplus." [President Bush, 3/3/01]

...BUSH SPENDS SOCIAL SECURITY SURPLUS The New York Times reported that "the president's new budget uses Social Security surpluses to pay for other programs every year through 2013, ultimately diverting more than $1.4 trillion in Social Security funds to other purposes." [The New York Times, 2/6/02]

2. Patient's Right to Sue

GOVERNOR BUSH VETOES PATIENTS' RIGHT TO SUE... "Despite his campaign rhetoric in favor of a patients' bill of rights, Bush fought such a bill tooth and nail as Texas governor, vetoing a bill coauthored by Republican state Rep. John Smithee in 1995. He... constantly opposed a patient's right to sue an HMO over coverage denied that resulted in adverse health effects." [Salon, 2/7/01]

...CANDIDATE BUSH PRAISES TEXAS PATIENTS' RIGHT TO SUE... "We're one of the first states that said you can sue an HMO for denying you proper coverage... It's time for our nation to come together and do what's right for the people. And I think this is right for the people. You know, I support a national patients' bill of rights, Mr. Vice President. And I want all people covered. I don't want the law to supersede good law like we've got in Texas." [Governor Bush, 10/17/00]

...PRESIDENT BUSH'S ADMINISTRATION ARGUES AGAINST RIGHT TO SUE "To let two Texas consumers, Juan Davila and Ruby R. Calad, sue their managed-care companies for wrongful denials of medical benefits ‘would be to completely undermine' federal law regulating employee benefits, Assistant Solicitor General James A. Feldman said at oral argument March 23. Moreover, the administration's brief attacked the policy rationale for Texas's law, which is similar to statutes on the books in nine other states." [Washington Post, 4/5/04]

3. Tobacco Buyout

BUSH SUPPORTS CURRENT TOBACCO FARMERS' QUOTA SYSTEM... "They've got the quota system in place -- the allotment system -- and I don't think that needs to be changed." [President Bush, 5/04]

...BUSH ADMINISTRATION WILL SUPPORT FEDERAL BUYOUT OF TOBACCO QUOTAS "The administration is open to a buyout." [White House spokeswoman Jeanie Mamo, 6/18/04]

4. North Korea

BUSH WILL NOT OFFER NUCLEAR NORTH KOREA INCENTIVES TO DISARM... "We developed a bold approach under which, if the North addressed our long-standing concerns, the United States was prepared to take important steps that would have significantly improved the lives of the North Korean people. Now that North Korea's covert nuclear weapons program has come to light, we are unable to pursue this approach." [President's Statement, 11/15/02]

...BUSH ADMINISTRATION OFFERS NORTH KOREA INCENTIVES TO DISARM"Well, we will work to take steps to ease their political and economic isolation. So there would be -- what you would see would be some provisional or temporary proposals that would only lead to lasting benefit after North Korea dismantles its nuclear programs. So there would be some provisional or temporary efforts of that nature." [White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, 6/23/04]

5. Abortion

BUSH SUPPORTS A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE... "Bush said he...favors leaving up to a woman and her doctor the abortion question." [The Nation, 6/15/00, quoting the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal, 5/78]

...BUSH OPPOSES A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE "I am pro-life." [Governor Bush, 10/3/00]

6. OPEC

BUSH PROMISES TO FORCE OPEC TO LOWER PRICES... "What I think the president ought to do [when gas prices spike] is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say we expect you to open your spigots...And the president of the United States must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price." [President Bush, 1/26/00]

...BUSH REFUSES TO LOBBY OPEC LEADERS With gas prices soaring in the United States at the beginning of 2004, the Miami Herald reported the president refused to "personally lobby oil cartel leaders to change their minds." [Miami Herald, 4/1/04]

7. Iraq Funding

BUSH SPOKESMAN DENIES NEED FOR ADDITIONAL FUNDS FOR THE REST OF 2004... "We do not anticipate requesting supplemental funding for '04" [White House Budget Director Joshua Bolton, 2/2/04]

...BUSH REQUESTS ADDITIONAL FUNDS FOR IRAQ FOR 2004 "I am requesting that Congress establish a $25 billion contingency reserve fund for the coming fiscal year to meet all commitments to our troops." [President Bush, Statement by President, 5/5/04]

8. Condoleeza Rice Testimony

BUSH SPOKESMAN SAYS RICE WON'T TESTIFY AS 'A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE'... "Again, this is not her personal preference; this goes back to a matter of principle. There is a separation of powers issue involved here. Historically, White House staffers do not testify before legislative bodies. So it's a matter of principle, not a matter of preference." [White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan, 3/9/04]

...BUSH ORDERS RICE TO TESTIFY: "Today I have informed the Commission on Terrorist Attacks Against the United States that my National Security Advisor, Dr. Condoleezza Rice, will provide public testimony." [President Bush, 3/30/04]

9. Science

BUSH PLEDGES TO ISSUE REGULATIONS BASED ON SCIENCE..."I think we ought to have high standards set by agencies that rely upon science, not by what may feel good or what sounds good." [then-Governor George W. Bush, 1/15/00]

...BUSH ADMINISTRATION REGULATIONS IGNORE SCIENCE "60 leading scientists—including Nobel laureates, leading medical experts, former federal agency directors and university chairs and presidents—issued a statement calling for regulatory and legislative action to restore scientific integrity to federal policymaking. According to the scientists, the Bush administration has, among other abuses, suppressed and distorted scientific analysis from federal agencies, and taken actions that have undermined the quality of scientific advisory panels." [Union of Concerned Scientists, 2/18/04]

10. Ahmed Chalabi

BUSH INVITES CHALABI TO STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS...President Bush also met with Chalabi during his brief trip to Iraq last Thanksgiving [White House Documents 1/20/04, 11/27/03]

...BUSH MILITARY ASSISTS IN RAID OF CHALABI'S HOUSE "U.S. soldiers raided the home of America's one-time ally Ahmad Chalabi on Thursday and seized documents and computers." [Washington Post, 5/20/04]

11. Department of Homeland Security

BUSH OPPOSES THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY..."So, creating a Cabinet office doesn't solve the problem. You still will have agencies within the federal government that have to be coordinated. So the answer is that creating a Cabinet post doesn't solve anything." [White House spokesman Ari Fleischer, 3/19/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY "So tonight, I ask the Congress to join me in creating a single, permanent department with an overriding and urgent mission: securing the homeland of America and protecting the American people." [President Bush, Address to the Nation, 6/6/02]

12. Weapons of Mass Destruction

BUSH SAYS WE FOUND THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION..."We found the weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories...for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them." [President Bush, Interview in Poland, 5/29/03]

...BUSH SAYS WE HAVEN'T FOUND WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION "David Kay has found the capacity to produce weapons.And when David Kay goes in and says we haven't found stockpiles yet, and there's theories as to where the weapons went. They could have been destroyed during the war. Saddam and his henchmen could have destroyed them as we entered into Iraq. They could be hidden. They could have been transported to another country, and we'll find out." [President Bush, Meet the Press, 2/7/04]

13. Free Trade

BUSH SUPPORTS FREE TRADE... "I believe strongly that if we promote trade, and when we promote trade, it will help workers on both sides of this issue." [President Bush in Peru, 3/23/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS RESTRICTIONS ON TRADE "In a decision largely driven by his political advisers, President Bush set aside his free-trade principles last year and imposed heavy tariffs on imported steel to help out struggling mills in Pennsylvania and West Virginia, two states crucial for his reelection." [Washington Post, 9/19/03]

14. Osama Bin Laden

BUSH WANTS OSAMA DEAD OR ALIVE... "I want justice. And there's an old poster out West, I recall, that says, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.'" [President Bush, on Osama Bin Laden, 09/17/01]

...BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT OSAMA "I don't know where he is.You know, I just don't spend that much time on him... I truly am not that concerned about him."[President Bush, Press Conference, 3/13/02]

15. The Environment

BUSH SUPPORTS MANDATORY CAPS ON CARBON DIOXIDE... "[If elected], Governor Bush will work to...establish mandatory reduction targets for emissions of four main pollutants: sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxide, mercury and carbon dioxide." [Bush Environmental Plan, 9/29/00]

...BUSH OPPOSES MANDATORY CAPS ON CARBON DIOXIDE "I do not believe, however, that the government should impose on power plants mandatory emissions reductions for carbon dioxide, which is not a 'pollutant' under the Clean Air Act." [President Bush, Letter to Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE), 3/13/03]

16. WMD Commission

BUSH RESISTS AN OUTSIDE INVESTIGATION ON WMD INTELLIGENCE FAILURE... "The White House immediately turned aside the calls from Kay and many Democrats for an immediate outside investigation, seeking to head off any new wide-ranging election-year inquiry that might go beyond reports already being assembled by congressional committees and the Central Intelligence Agency." [NY Times, 1/29/04]

...BUSH SUPPORTS AN OUTSIDE INVESTIGATION ON WMD INTELLIGENCE FAILURE "Today, by executive order, I am creating an independent commission, chaired by Governor and former Senator Chuck Robb, Judge Laurence Silberman, to look at American intelligence capabilities, especially our intelligence about weapons of mass destruction." [President Bush, 2/6/04]

17. Creation of the 9/11 Commission

BUSH OPPOSES CREATION OF INDEPENDENT 9/11 COMMISSION... "President Bush took a few minutes during his trip to Europe Thursday to voice his opposition to establishing a special commission to probe how the government dealt with terror warnings before Sept. 11." [CBS News, 5/23/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS CREATION OF INDEPENDENT 9/11 COMMISSION "President Bush said today he now supports establishing an independent commission to investigate the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks." [ABC News, 09/20/02]

18. Time Extension for 9/11 Commission

BUSH OPPOSES TIME EXTENSION FOR 9/11 COMMISSION... "President Bush and House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) have decided to oppose granting more time to an independent commission investigating the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks." [Washington Post, 1/19/04]

...BUSH SUPPORTS TIME EXTENSION FOR 9/11 COMMISSION "The White House announced Wednesday its support for a request from the commission investigating the September 11, 2001 attacks for more time to complete its work." [CNN, 2/4/04]

19. One Hour Limit for 9/11 Commission Testimony

BUSH LIMITS TESTIMONY IN FRONT OF 9/11 COMMISSION TO ONE HOUR... "President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have placed strict limits on the private interviews they will grant to the federal commission investigating the Sept. 11 attacks, saying that they will meet only with the panel's top two officials and that Mr. Bush will submit to only a single hour of questioning, commission members said Wednesday." [NY Times, 2/26/04]

...BUSH SETS NO TIMELIMIT FOR TESTIMONY "The president's going to answer all of the questions they want to raise. Nobody's watching the clock." [White House spokesman Scott McClellan, 3/10/04]

20. Gay Marriage

BUSH SAYS GAY MARRIAGE IS A STATE ISSUE... "The state can do what they want to do. Don't try to trap me in this state's issue like you're trying to get me into." [Gov. George W. Bush on Gay Marriage, Larry King Live, 2/15/00]

...BUSH SUPPORTS CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT BANNING GAY MARRIAGE "Today I call upon the Congress to promptly pass, and to send to the states for ratification, an amendment to our Constitution defining and protecting marriage as a union of man and woman as husband and wife." [President Bush, 2/24/04]

21. Nation Building

BUSH OPPOSES NATION BUILDING... "If we don't stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions, then we're going to have a serious problem coming down the road." [Gov. George W. Bush, 10/3/00]

...BUSH SUPPORTS NATION BUILDING "We will be changing the regime of Iraq, for the good of the Iraqi people." [President Bush, 3/6/03]

22. Saddam/al Qaeda Link

BUSH SAYS IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEEN AL QAEDA AND SADDAM... "You can't distinguish between al Qaeda and Saddam when you talk about the war on terror." [President Bush, 9/25/02]

...BUSH SAYS SADDAM HAD NO ROLE IN AL QAEDA PLOT "We've had no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved in Sept. 11." [President Bush, 9/17/03]

23. U.N. Resolution

BUSH VOWS TO HAVE A UN VOTE NO MATTER WHAT... "No matter what the whip count is, we're calling for the vote. We want to see people stand up and say what their opinion is about Saddam Hussein and the utility of the United Nations Security Council. And so, you bet. It's time for people to show their cards, to let the world know where they stand when it comes to Saddam." [President Bush 3/6/03]

...BUSH WITHDRAWS REQUEST FOR VOTE "At a National Security Council meeting convened at the White House at 8:55 a.m., Bush finalized the decision to withdraw the resolution from consideration and prepared to deliver an address to the nation that had already been written." [Washington Post, 3/18/03]

24. Involvement in the Palestinian Conflict

BUSH OPPOSES SUMMITS... "Well, we've tried summits in the past, as you may remember. It wasn't all that long ago where a summit was called and nothing happened, and as a result we had significant intifada in the area." [President Bush, 04/05/02]

...BUSH SUPPORTS SUMMITS "If a meeting advances progress toward two states living side by side in peace, I will strongly consider such a meeting. I'm committed to working toward peace in the Middle East." [President Bush, 5/23/03]

25. Campaign Finance

BUSH OPPOSES MCCAIN-FEINGOLD... "George W. Bush opposes McCain-Feingold...as an infringement on free expression." [Washington Post, 3/28/2000]

...BUSH SIGNS MCCAIN-FEINGOLD INTO LAW "[T]his bill improves the current system of financing for Federal campaigns, and therefore I have signed it into law." [President Bush, at the McCain-Feingold signing ceremony, 03/27/02]

26. 527s

Bush opposes restrictions on 527s: "I also have reservations about the constitutionality of the broad ban on issue advertising [in McCain Feingold], which restrains the speech of a wide variety of groups on issues of public import." [President Bush, 3/27/02]

Bush says 527s bad for system: "I don't think we ought to have 527s. I can't be more plain about it…I think they're bad for the system. That's why I signed the bill, McCain-Feingold." [President Bush, 8/23/04]

27. Medical Records

Bush says medical records must remain private: "I believe that we must protect…the right of every American to have confidence that his or her personal medical records will remain private." [President Bush, 4/12/01]

Bush says patients' histories are not confidntial: The Justice Department…asserts that patients "no longer possess a reasonable expectation that their histories will remain completely confidential." [BusinessWeek, 4/30/04]

28. Timelines For Dictators

Bush sets timeline for Saddam: "If Iraq does not accept the terms within a week of passage or fails to disclose required information within 30 days, the resolution authorizes 'all necessary means' to force compliance--in other words, a military attack." [LA Times, 10/3/02]

Bush says he's against timelines: "I don't think you give timelines to dictators." [President Bush, 8/27/04]

29. The Great Lakes

Bush wants to divert great lakes: "Even though experts say 'diverting any water from the Great Lakes region sets a bad precedent' Bush 'said he wants to talk to Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chrétien about piping water to parched states in the west and southwest.'– [AP, 7/19/01]

Bush says he'll never divert Great Lakes: "We've got to use our resources wisely, like water. It starts with keeping the Great Lakes water in the Great Lakes Basin...My position is clear: We're never going to allow diversion of Great Lakes water." [President Bush, 8/16/04]

30. Winning The War On Terror

Bush claims he can win the war on terror: "One of the interesting things people ask me, now that we're asking questions, is, can you ever win the war on terror? Of course, you can." [President Bush, 4/13/04]

Bush says war on terror is unwinnable: "I don't think you can win [the war on terror]." [President Bush, 8/30/04]

Bush says he will win the war on terror: "Make no mistake about it, we are winning and we will win [the war on terror]." [President Bush, 8/31/04]

All information reprinted from AmericanProgressAction.org
Much thanks to Towlie from SP who originally posted it there.
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Picture of the day

This picture begs the question, why?

Snake charmer guy
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50 Cent is a wanker

I have a whole new respect for the English.

Link found via Attu.blogspot.com
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Not that they care

The Republican National Convention is progressing the same way that I'm sure everyone thought it would. They're praising themselves and the job they think they've done, and throwing mud at Kerry in regular intervals. They need to get more creative, though.

This flip-flopper thing is just fucking stupid. I'm tired of hearing about it. Kerry has changed his mind in the past, and he's going by the Al Gore campaign playbook at this point, saying anything that he thinks might help get him elected. Bush has changed his mind in the past, as evidenced here.

The whole Swift Boat thing is another retarded thing. No more how you cut it, Kerry at some point in Vietnam, was in harm's way. Bush was in fucking Alabama. I'm sure there's just as many guns in Alabama, but the rednecks aren't hunting people. Just possum. It's a losing situation no more how hard they rag on Kerry. I do acknowledge that the Bush campaign hasn't directly done the Swift Boat thing, but they haven't been anxious to kill it either, which they could very easily do.

The Bush campaign needs to pick it's allies better, though. This Zell Miller idiot is a flip-flopper too. The fucker praised Kerry and called him a friend when he introduced him before a speech just three years ago, the transcript of which was still located on the fucker's website.

Zell Miller speech transcript, reprinted on Hoffmania.com
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